Back from a drunken trip to Vegas involving poker, mobsters, hi-jinks, alcohol, and your girlfriend, it returns, like a Phoenix arising from cigar smelling ashes in the back lot of a strip club... Magical Troubleshooting Crossover Fighting Federation Ultra: The Summary!
Really officer, I have no idea how the Pokemon and the Japaneses (college) school girls got in the back seat, nor why the Pikachu is wearing that girl's skirt.
of Ultra was written by Chris McNeil
and Aaorn Peori
(No LJ Known, but I did find a website via google for the pair if you're crafty.)
We return from our long sojourn of make believe adventures with hookers to visit backstage Ultra machinations at their finest. Ranma feels that everyone has been hiding something from him this past week, and isn't sure what. Though, due to the precogniscient natures of his forehead, he feels it bodes poorly. He's proven right, as Pantyhose Tarou announces his return as announcer this week to Ranma himself, thrilling the Gamma champion to no end.
Really, he had a tea party.
Okay, not really. But the idea of a Ranma cast tea party is entertaining, admit it.
And we have title credits! It's always interesting to see the post-title build up. It became ridiculously hard to write this scene, essentially the same scene every episode, in a manner that was interesting. This way we have an homage to the "Lost in Space" movie adaptation, horribly dating this chapter and making me feel old at the same time.
Our first bout is evidentially a Gamma match up as Shingo Yabuki takes the ring, donning a new Ranma-Fanboy costume! He vows to win this bout for the honor of his master. His opponent makes as per standard comically self-injuring entrance, the transformed Shin Dan Hibiki! As part of his 'annoyance routine', Dan finds a way to hide Tarou's trademark vest under a 'I'm a Dan Fan' pink T-shirt.
Pre-match verbals are traded, and the fight commences! Shingo and Dan appear at an equal level of ineptitude vs inexperience, but things change when Shingo's lack of familiarity with Ranma's stylings cause him to drop guard, leaving him vulnerable to attack. Pressing his advantage, Dan launches into a super-fireball, the same attack that backfired last episode!
Worried that a week of training might've improved the tenacity of the move, Shingo launched an all out assault, using Ranma's trademark 'I hit really quickly' attack. Less speed than the original, Shingo packed enough punch to alter Dan's attack trajectory... right onto his head. The match is almost called, as the explosive ki power knocks Shingo for a temporary loop, but the youth drags himself to his feet. Dan presses his advantage, the only way he knows how!
A super taunt.
The taunt, amazingly, is so humiliating that Shingo almost gives up right then and there. But somehow, in the face of Dan's mighty taunting skills, Shingo presses forward, and attempts a recovery while Dan tries to finish the job he started with a series of power punches. Finally, realizing his training with Ranma wasn't accomplished enough yet, Shingo reaches deep and copies Dan's ultimate fireball technique! The result is startlingly effective, blazing Dan into the ropes. The usually inferior copies Shingo musters somehow having morphed into a superior attack when copying Dan's self taught strategms.
And Shingo does it again, copying Dan's take on the Shotokan uppercut! Dan pulls the second straight Looney Tunes moment (last week's Looney Tunes fighters were Bart & Rico) and crashes up and then back down through the roof of the Ultradome!
But the master of the taunt is not to be stopped, and he still arises! Shingo rears back with another move and... I'm not sure what it's supposed to be copying? Maybe Dan's "Victory Relying no Nothing but my own fists" supermove? Overuse of Japanese here, not really sure. But Shingo lands his punches, and with a comic poke to the chest Dan is felled, again! Shingo promptly exits, none too proud of victory.
As the announcers ponder Shingo's mindset, they segue way into teasing the first Omega match of the eve!
Commercial time! We get a hint of Ultrarage: Alpha, with talk of the Steel Hypercube Omega match! Saucy!
And then we're back, and see a bit of foreshadowing between Tarou and a mysterious figure. Likely the same mysterious figure who has appeared a few times prior! What could the figure want with Tarou? Oh heavens, will we ever know?
Cut to Crater #762, our Omega battleground for the evening! Our first challenger to arrive is Washuu, in mecha, claiming her masterpiece is, yet again complete! As Washuu eagerly anticipated her rematch with Shinji, she was quickly disappointed as her opponent appeared to be a black... lump. A man size shape assuming lump, with a trenchcoat.
Washuu is a bit underwhelmed by this development. Myself, I wait to see who the person is before I'm officially underwhelmed.
A quick talk reveals the technological savvy of her opponent (who thought her mecha was a living being), and his name. (The Elder Brother) Toguro! (Yu Yu Hakusho) Okay, now I'm underwhelmed.
Toguro expresses a psychotic measure of glee in being able to fight a living thing, and demonstrates his powers to shapeshift (he can, I looked it up!) in preparation to slice and dice Washuu!
As the fight begins, Toguro is inducted to the genre of science fiction as his tendrils bounce off Washuu's forcefield. Then, he's introduced to physics as Washuu's mech turns his insubstantial form into a pancake.
However, being insubstantial has its advantages as he reforms his body. Washuu catches up with what the reader who did a Google-check already found out, Toguro has complete control over his body with his shapeshifting!
And then, we're mid-fight segued. Tarou and the figure reach a deal! And it involves Ranma's match! That's a spicy meatball!
Annnnd we're back to the fight. Sort of. Nabiki is bored. Bored of the fight. Because Toguro attacks. And Washuu's mecha blocks. Lather, Rinse, Repeat. However, Nabiki's interest is piqued when Kasumi herself shows up in the editing room, and Kasumi reveals that Toguro has a bit of a... psychotic violence problem. As in he likes killing things. Now, that's interesting logic in having a fighter be in Omega, but hey, she is God.
Unfortunately, God didn't tell Toguro he was on a television show, either. Toguro is a bit upset at this discovery.
Meanwhile, Washuu is as bored as Nabiki. For as well fortified as she is, she can't really hurt HIM either. So she feints, and fools Toguro with a 'Hey, look over there!' adapted for psychopaths. And thus, Toguro learns what a 'beam cannon' is.
And we're back to Tarou! Tarou strikes a deal with the mysterious figure, and its revealed that the pink Dan-Fan shirt is actually the proper of Mr. Mysterious! As Tarou moves to exact his revenge, Mr. Mysterious vanishes from the scene, leaving the expert martial artist astonished.
Back at the crater, Washuu is wondering where her victory portal is. Unbeknownst to her, Toguro has yet again survived, and is now trying a war of attrition, with the war being raged by Toguro split into a billion little 'mini-me's. Power cells are eventually depleted as Toguro after Toguro dive into them, and eventually Washuu opts for the Search for Spock solution, arms self destruct and hops ship.
Unfortunately for Washuu, self destruct isn't as all encompassing as advertised, as Toguro has yet again survived! He presses the attack, after a... uh... evil puppet show? Washuu is quickly on the defensive as Toguro envelopes her like a tortilla on a chicken wrap! Inspiration soon struck, however and with quick thinking and a bit of bull fighting, Toguro is trapped into a high tech bag of holding! A winner is Washuu!
And we're onto Yotsuya! My absolute favorite character in Ultra EVER. Wai!
He's interviewing Ranma this week, and the subjects include made up rumors! At least until it turns into backstage showdown 101, with Sakura, Shermie, and Yashiro all arriving to announce their anger at Ranma's match with Iori. Albeit, from different POVs. As the would be Kings of Fighters leave the area, Sofia arrives, insisting that her rivalry with Sakura is far from over!
When did Sakura become such a ho-biscuit? She's very inconsistent.
Oh, it's Gambit! What is this, the 'Yes these people are still registered fighters' segment? Who's next, Ken? Gambit lays down the charm to stop the females from squabbling, and Ranma tries to reassert that this is, in fact, HIS interview. Only to be shot down by... Kunou!
Oh, poo. I was wrong.
Kunou wants a title match! Sakura insists that she has first dibs! Ranma insists that he doesn't book the matches, or at least he tries to before David arrives on the scene and assumes jealous outrage at Gambit's presence. Didn't we do this feud?? And David oversteps his bounds, and unfurls the wrath of scorned girlfriend (?). As Sakura pummels him out of the room, and Gambit is chased by an overly friendly Sofia, Yashiro and Shermie remind everyone again that they're in the next Lambda match! (Didn't they leave?) And much to Ranma's chagrin, the bit is over.
Title Fight, in bound! Gamma title match, between Ranma and Iori! I'm refusing to acknowledge Iori's 'Biggest Badass' title because I can. Tarou seems oddly amused, though we soon find out why, as Iori enters unimpeded, but Ranma's music has changed to "Dude looks like a lady!"
Mysterious machinations revealed, Ranma is none too pleased. He accuses Tarou of pulling the swap, and Tarou calmly denies all allegations. Goaded furthermore by Tarou, Ranma lays his pride on the line (wasn't the title enough?) and declares he'll prove he's the best fighter in Ultra!
Ranma and Iori launch into a dazzling array of attack, dodge, counter, block! Moves flying past one another, and Ranma slowly but surely gaining the advantage. However, with the first 'fem-boy' crack from Tarou, it's clear that Ranma has a few issues on 'focus', as he loses his focus and opens a blast from Iori.
Ranma tries to keep his momentum going, but with each successive crack from Tarou, his victory seems more out of sight. Finally, after taking a supreme purple lashing from Iori, Ranma finds himself tangled in the ropes with an (Tarou chuckles supplied) aptly named Maiden Masher inbound. In a feat of impressive strength, Ranma yanks the ropes from the posts, and uses them as whips in which to interrupt Iori's attack. Acting like a super powered Indiana Jones, Ranma whips the ropes around Iori, trapping the fighter, then spinning him overhead cowboy style.
All signs point towards Ranma using his trademark hurricane style supermove, but when the hurricane starts, Ranma is nowhere to be found! Instead, as the chaos reaches a crescendo, Ranma appears at the crest of the blast, wielding an enormous amount of purple energy, the very same energy with which Iori had been assaulting Ranma with all fight! Gathering the energy into a massive blow, Ranma assaulted Iori, smashing the Badass of Ultra into the concrete, and securing his title!
His victory does little to assuage him, however, as he maintains his glare on Tarou!
Shin Dan commercial! Really, who would buy an 'annoying' action figure?
And we're back ringside! And what's this? More Ultrarage Alpha prep? An introduction to a fighter appearing in Alpha! Gasp and Gadzooks, it's Tifa Lockheart (Final Fantasy VII)!
It's announced that there is going to be a Newcomer Invitational, where people can fight for the right to party^Wjoin Ultra! Which.. people have been doing every episode anyway. Uhm. Ah well, it makes good press!
And Tifa is staying on to guest commentate on the Lambda match! The Lonely Wolves versus Bart & Rico! With Yashiro and Shermie in the audience again. I've officially forgotten if they've been added or not yet.
And... uh. Our fight is canceled, as Bart and Rico are revealed to have a Yotsuya induced spat, with Bart's choice for a team name, Beauty and the Best!. Bart seems to have ended up in the hospital! He's just lucky Disney's lawyers didn't get ahold of him. And that is... it. Okay.
So we're backstage, for "Tarou's Interview Segment". Or so he calls it! Tarou drills Shinji for his reasons for joining Ultra! And if you've ever seen Shinji in action, you can sort of see where this is going. Tarou gives Shinji a proverbial bitch slap that many a fan have dreamed of, and leaves Shinji reeling from the effects.
And we're back for the rematch of Sephiroth and Eva Unit-01! Set on the forest moon of Endor, the two titans prepare for a title match not to be interfered upon by any Robots or Circuses of any kind. Though I make no promises about furry little men and droids.
The fight begins with a token spell from Sephiroth, Flare! As the Eva Unit evokes it's powerful absolute terror field, Sephiroth pulls out his Final Fantasy VII strategy guide, and decides to flex his inner twink! One "DBarrier" later, Shinji's AT field is but a faint memory!
Gloating in that FF bad-ass way, Sephiroth pauses just long enough to turn the dial up to Marissa Picard and beat the crap out of Eva. And it's over.
Sephiroth is our new Omega Champion, becoming the first challenger to succeed in overturning a current champion!
As the show closes, Daisuke muses on our recurring villain du jour, the Orochi. Ah, hospital humor... uh... wait, that's not keeping the air of badassary afloat. Ah well.
In the episode epilogue we find out that Shinji is miserable. Not only did he not get any dialog in his fight, but he lost said fight. Because he was miserable. So now he's miserable that he was too miserable to fight properly. Nice, circular logic. But then... our CONTROVERSIAL mysterious figure makes his appearance! Could his plan have been to get Shinji to a low ebb (do you really need to PLAN for that?) and talk him into something... mysterious?
Well, not so mysterious. Shinji appears to have been transformed, a la Dan, into something... annoying!
And as an aside, the author's notes appear to have a Japanese translation guide'! Huzzah!
][ ULTRA EPISODE 7 RESULTS RECAP:
][ GAMMA MATCH 1: SHINGO defeats SHIN DAN, now 2W/2L
][ New OMEGA MEMBER introduced, Toguro Ani or Yuu Yuu Hakusho
][ OMEGA MATCH 1: WASHU defeats TOGURU ANI, now 1W/1L
][ GAMMA MATCH 2: RANMA defeat IORI YAGAMI, now 3W/0L
][ LAMBDA MATCH 1: Called due to Injury, no stat change
][ OMEGA MATCH 2: SEPHIROTH defeats EVA-1, now 3W/1L
][ SEPHIROTH wins the OMEGA DIVISION Title